Do you need new shoes?

It's the middle of May and I've only written one blog post for the month. I really am slacking on this thing. Sorry about that. Even though I'm not in school (and neither are my friends...yay summer break!) I have been keeping extremely busy lately.

I've started collecting data for the second research study I'm working on. This study is a longitudinal study about Parkinson's disease and how a person's emotional well-being affects the progression of the disease. The third study will likely start data collection next week. It's about whether or not the dizzy clinic survey that the office is using is an effective tool to screen for patients who could benefit from further testing for balance issues (whether they are muscular, neurologic, inner ear, etc).

Getting things in order for data collection has been hectic and a bit stressful, but also really fun. I'm definitely enjoying seeing patients and talking with them though!

Outside of work/research, I've been keeping busy now that my friends are out of classes for the summer. We've gone to the zoo, had some BBQs and recently toured the Lauritzen Gardens to see the traveling Lego exhibit. Below are just a few pictures of the adventures.

I was struggling to get on the gorilla.
My poor legs weren't long enough!

He was trying to impress me. 

Baby African lion cubs!

Sharks!
Gooooo Dad

Lego hummingbird and flower.

Lego frog and lily pad

real tulips!

Lego rose

I'm really thankful for the beautiful weather that we've been experiencing! I'm hopeful that July and August won't me too miserable on the humidity front (wishful thinking, at best). 

I was lucky enough to see one of my favorite (not so little anymore) little girls in her dance recital last weekend. Miss Sophia has truly become a gorgeous little ballerina. I'm looking forward to causing shenanigans with Miss Sophia and Miss Olivia this weekend when we get to hang out again (no parents allowed!). I can't even imagine what adventures we will have (although I'm hoping for some running through sprinklers and a dance party)!!

Oh and an update from the last post...the 140th anniversary celebration last Sunday at First Lutheran Church, ELCA here in Omaha was awesome! Our small, but mighty choir produced some incredibly beautiful sounds! I'm so happy I was able to be part of it. 

That's probably enough of a random update. I'm hoping to get something more of a medicine-related post up sometime this week. Until then, I bid you g'day!

I'll leave you with this gem. It describes my life to a "t".

Miscellaneous

There have been so many things going on lately that don't really fall into a specific category. I'm not really sure they fall into my journey of becoming a healthcare professional either, but they are still things that I want to write about. So here's a post about the miscellaneous things in my life.

Taize. I've written about Taize before (cliff notes version: Taize is a ecumenical monastic community in the Burgundy region of France. The worship style popularized there is filled with silence and meditative musical chanting). I adore that place so stinkin' much. Among plenty of awesome things, you get chocolate sandwiches for breakfast. So. Awesome! I was hoping to make it back to France this summer, but alas, I am too sick to travel abroad. Well anyway, Brother Emile from Taize is in the US for a few months to prepare for a retreat of sorts that will be over Memorial Day weekend.

And now I finally am getting to my point...my good friends at the UNL Lutheran Center had a Taize worship service last week and invited Brother Emile to join them. It was really nice to have a mid-week reminder to slow down and be present in the moment. Taize is always refreshing and renewing to my spirit!

Brother Emile gave a little homily during the service and brought up an incredible point. He talked about another brother, Brother Roger, who was the founder of the Taize community. Brother Roger loved statements that were incomplete; statements that ended with ellipses. The one he talked about in particular, which I am continuing to consider was, "If you begin with a trusting heart, then...". If I began my decision-making process about medical leave with a trusting heart, how would it have been different? If we begin with a trusting heart when we approach those that are different from ourselves, how would our interactions be different? If we began with a trusting heart, maybe we wouldn't stereotype people as terrorists. If we began with a trusting heart...

I challenge each of you to begin each of your future encounters and decisions with a trusting heart. It may seem naïve, but in reality it's radically wise. And it's so hard to do.

Choir. Well I haven't officially sung for any reason in several years, but the church I'm currently attending is having a big celebration this month in honor of their 140th year as a congregation (holy moley, 140 years is a LONG time!). And so they've asked me to join them in the choir to sing a cantata. It's been fun to be in rehearsal again and it's nice to meet different people in the church.

Alice in Wonderland. This past weekend I went to an incredible ballet performance of "Alice in Wonderland" with a few of my friends from my med school class. My dance teacher was actually the lead, so it was fun to see her really dance in a context outside of the studio. Watching everyone on stage got me really amped up about my recital. It's been over a year since the last time I performed anywhere.

AIDS Walk. Megan, her boyfriend, and I went to the Omaha Nebraska AIDS Project AIDS Walk this weekend. It was a MUCH longer walk than any of us expected...we actually walked all the way to Iowa! I've been involved with the walk in some context since my sophomore year in high school--many of those years helping to plan it--so it was a little bit weird to just show up and walk with no other responsibilities  The weather was GORGEOUS, which made it all the more enjoyable.

Research. I've finished the first rough draft of the introduction and methods section of one of the papers I'm working on. As it turns out, I still am excellent at procrastinating writing when I feel like it. But I think that what I have is actually pretty good. I'm not looking to publish this study, but at the very least, it's good practice for the ones we're hoping to publish!

SMDEP. I can't actually remember if I've written about this yet, but I will be a TA for a summer program for undergraduate students that are hoping to get into med school. We had an organizational meeting for all of the TAs and RAs this week. I'm getting excited for the students to get here! It means spending my summer in Sorrell (I may grow to resent this place someday...), but it should still be plenty of fun!

Celebrate Sound Walk. My parents are coming up to Omaha this weekend and we will all be walking in the "Celebrate Sound"walk. For those of you who don't know, my dad is well on his way towards being deaf (what did you say...I couldn't hear you?). We've been involved as a family in a service organization that specifically caters to those who are deaf and/or hard of hearing since before I was born (my first actual meeting was when I was like a week old!), so we'll be walking to raise awareness and some dollars for the cause. I haven't seen many of the Sertoma gang in several years, so it'll be good to see some of them again!

Wow, there have been quite a few things going on lately. Sorry for the randomness of the post, but I suppose that's how life goes. I'm looking forward to next week when all of my classmates are done with classes and can actually be fun people again (as opposed to book worms)! There may even be a zoo trip in my future as long as the weather cooperates!

Residency Symposium.

Last weekend (and this week!) was a busy one and that's why I'm just now getting around to writing a blog about it.

We had the memorial service for the families of the people who donated their bodies for us to use during anatomy. It was done well. It was nice to see all of the families and friends that were affected by our very first patients, our very best teachers.

On Saturday was the Residency Symposium that the AMA puts on at UNMC every other year. It was pretty overwhelming. For anyone that knows me even a little bit, you'll know that I tend to get myself over-involved. The morning lectures were all about building your résumé by getting involved in different extracurriculars. Unfortunately it made me feel like I wasn't involved enough (but let's be honest, that couldn't be further from the truth) and that I'd never get into a residency program. I can only imagine how my classmates were feeling as the end of the school year was looming over their heads with finals and a paper left to write. As bummed as I am to not be in school right now, I have to say that it's really nice not to be stressed to the max currently.

Throughout the afternoon at the symposium, we had small groups with different specialities to learn all about their residency training. I went to the med-peds (you get board certified in both internal medicine and pediatrics), neurology and infectious disease talks. They were pretty great, although I have to admit that they pushed me back towards wanting to go into neurology more than anything. We shall see...who knows what the future holds.

No one can predict where healthcare will be in the next 10-15 years, so it was sort of hard to give us cold, hard facts about what to expect. I personally find this unknown exciting, but I'm sure that many others find it frustrating and annoying. The one thing that we do know, is that how we practice medicine and how we train our doctors is changing.

There is all sorts of research and talk about changing the way in which we train future medical professionals. There are several residency programs that are moving more towards a skill-based assessment of residents instead of a temporally based one. Eventually this shift will work its way down to medical schools too. Eventually the way students learn in the pre-clinical years will be different too. Medicine is reforming. And it's about time. We have taught our doctors in the same manner for 100 years now. And medicine is vastly different now than it was in the early 1900s.

I was a speaker earlier this spring who told us that the only thing you have to do to become a doctor is to stay out of trouble and pass 6 large multiple choice exams (MCAT, USMLE Step 1, USMLE Step 2 CK, USMLE Step 2 CS, USMLE Step 3, and your respective boards), but that we have doctors who are terrible clinicians because they haven't learned all of the skills they need to by the time they finish their residency or they struggle interacting with humans. There was an interesting article in the Times about this earlier this spring.

So all in all, the residency symposium was good, albeit overwhelming. I know now what things I need to work on still to make my application all the more strong. Lucky for me, I have a whole extra year to make and implement those changes!

research

Well I've started a lit review and worked a little bit with the data for my first research project over the past few weeks. The purpose of the study was to see if people with mild cognitive impairment (like in the early stages of Alzheimer's disease) had any idea of their deficits and to find a good tool for clinicians to use to screen patients. There's quite a bit of literature out right now on the topic actually. I'm coming into the study after the data collection, so now I'm just trying to figure out what the data is telling us. So far, I don't really have any results, but hopefully I will soon!

Obviously the night wouldn't have been complete
without an awkward prom picture with my
 beautiful date/roommate, Megan!

This week has been quite the busy one! It all started last weekend with medical school prom. Yes, you did read that right. We had prom.

And it was awesome! I had a wonderful time going out to dinner and dancing the night away with my friends.

This week I also headed down to Lincoln (the NE state capital), to lobby with the legislature for a couple of bills that a group at the med center had decided we were passionate about. Medicaid expansion was being debated that day on the floor, so it was very interesting to hear both sides of the argument. The bills we specifically talked about were increased cigarette tax, comprehensive sexuality education in schools (if you know me, you know that I'm very obviously passionate about this issue!), the anti-discrimination bill based on sexual orientation and marital status, and increased funding for the university system.

It was a good time! It was nice to be able to stay in the state and feel like my voice was heard. Actually, I definitely felt like my voice was more clearly heard than it was when I went to DC in undergrad to talk about sex ed. Part of that may have been because I was associated with a graduate school program at UNMC and some of that may have just been because my local senator is WAY cooler/nicer than the guy I talked with in DC.

This weekend should be a busy one too. Tonight we have the memorial service for the families of our cadavers from anatomy. Tomorrow is a residency symposium that UNMC puts on every few years. I will be going to sessions about neurology, infectious diseases and pediatrics, I think. I'm sure there will be an overwhelming amount of information and I'll probably just start freaking out about not being able to get into a residency program, but hopefully it's helpful information! Another blog update to come after the craziness of the weekend...

Notice the pause.

Sorry about the lack of postage in the past few weeks. Even though I'm no longer in school (for the time being), I've actually been quite busy! More on that a little later though.

Lately I've been listening to this guided meditation that focuses on breathing. It talks about the pause that we have between breaths when we are breathing deeply. After listening to this several times, I realized that my life is currently in the pause.

The pause is a great place to be, really. It's the in-between place. The moment of calm between the turbulent exhale and the brisk inhale. During this pause, the body is still functioning; homeostasis is occurring. Life goes on.

Right now, I'm between things. Between my M1 years. Between bouts of healthy remission of disease. Between the exhale and the next inhale. But I'm still functioning! I'm working several days a week in Hastings and I've started working on a research project.  I've also been quite busy with the Do JuSTIce program. As of this week, I officially took over as the UNMC President of the program. It's the program that goes into Douglas County Department of Corrections and tests/treats for chlamydia and gonorrhea. I've still been going to dance class several times a week. I also am involved with the group that is lobbying with NE senators on issues of healthcare. And last, but certainly not least, I've been focused on getting healthy (which really does take more energy than one might imagine). Homeostasis is occurring; life is going on.

Tomorrow is another sushi night (yay!) and Saturday is our medical school prom. I have a stunningly hot date (Megan!) and am excited to wear a fancy dress and hang out with my friends. This weekend I will also get to see my wonderful god-kiddos, Danni and John, when my family celebrates a belated Easter. Homeostasis is occurring; life is going on.

Notice your pause. Live fully in each moment. Focus on your breathing.

my reality.

I've sat in front of my computer for almost an hour trying to figure out how to start this blog post. It's actually causing some bad flashbacks of writing papers for undergrad where I could never figure out how to start. I'm just struggling to find the words right now.

So here goes...

As many of you know, I've been sick off and on this year. Well actually, mostly "on." I've been more sick than I let on to most people. Until recently, I've even been more sick than I let myself realize.

Within the past 6 months, I've been diagnosed with two autoimmune disorders. I've battled several complications with each throughout the process of diagnosis and the beginning of treatment, all the while trying to go to classes and study.

I'm not going to lie, it's been really rough. Some days I feel 100% and want to conquer the world; others make me feel as though I'm sinking in quicksand and the only thing I can accomplish for the whole day is rolling out of bed and showering before I head directly back to bed for a nap.

This is my current reality. It's neither good nor bad (okay, it's definitely a little bad), but it's real. At this point, it doesn't make sense to continue fighting my body about the healing process, so I've decided to take off the remainder of the year on medical leave. Due to the timing of when I started leave, I will have to repeat the entire M1 year beginning again in August.

I can't say that this is ever how I imagined my first year of med school going, but this is the way it is. I am really fortunate to be receiving some of the best medical care in the entire state (hooray for going to school across the street from an INCREDIBLE medical institution!) and I have the most supportive friends and family who have helped me immensely over the past 8 months.

I wouldn't say that I'm necessarily excited for the opportunity to do the entire year over (who really would want to re-listen to 92 hours of biochem lectures?), but there are plenty of good things that are going to come from this less-than-optimal situation. I have met some of the most awesome people this year and had some great experiences, I get the chance to meet an entire new class of awesome people. I get the chance to learn all of the M1 material in a depth that I could have never achieved because of being sick. While I heal, I have the opportunity to do some clinical research part-time, which is seriously awesome because it's research and I will still get some patient interaction.

I'm currently in a state of both joy and mourning over this decision. It's kind of an odd place to be, but I know that, ultimately, I can't work towards healing others, if I, myself, am not well.

I got this fortune when I was home a few weeks ago. I think reading it was
actually the moment I made my decision about medical leave. 

I've Bin-hammered

One of our professors is retiring this year after 56 years of teaching. The coolest thing though, is that he's actually going to come back next year (and for as long as he is able) to teach. For free.

This is a video that UNMC made to honor him.

"Well I don't buy that..."

Less than 24 hours until sushi...!

My life revolves around exams.

It has for so many years. We have become a "teach to the test" kind of society--as a side note, I really hate the "No Child Left Behind" type of teaching style. "I have (blank) number of days until this huge exam and this is how I'm going to spend my time to prepare for it." Exams simply are no fun. 

But now, my life revolves around exams because it means that my friends and I are going to sushi! I really love the few hours we spend together on the night before the exam. It's time to decompress and not worry about school or studying. Some of my favorite moments of this past year are from those sushi dinners. 

In other news, Spring Break begins on Friday afternoon. Oh and this blog was featured on my favorite podcast, Things That Matter, in Lisa's God sighting. I haven't had much (or any) time to listen to the show this year because of school, but I do have all of the episodes downloaded on my phone and plan to listen to them on my next drive back to Hastings so I can catch up. I've actually been invited back to Things That Matter Land as a guest, so I'm thinking of starting a competition with Erin (Coleman) Branchaud to become the "Most Interesting Woman Alive." I'm currently 3 episodes behind her, so I have plenty of catch-up yet to do. 

Finally, this skit from SNL last weekend just makes me laugh. Nothing funnier than JT dancing in a tofu costume. 

Hero for the Day

If you know me at all (or if you've read any of my other blog posts), you'll know that I'm an ally. I found this video today via a Huffington Post article. I thought it was so great that I wanted to share it with all of you!

Okay seriously, she's my hero for today. I hope y'all actually dedicate the 5 minutes to actually watch this, because she has a very important message!

And she's funny too! :)

It's been a neuro kind of week!

This week in our clinical skills class we learned about the neurologic exam. I've spent my fair share of time in a neurology clinic between the many, many hours I've shadowed and working at CNN in Hastings so I actually knew most of the exam by heart already (I've had some seriously awesome examples to learn from!). It still was one of my favorite clinical skills classes so far though.

Today we had a meeting for the Student Interest Group in Neurology (SIGN). We had the "ALS in the Heartland" crew come talk with us along with Miss Heartland, Charissa Hauge, and one family that has been affect by ALS. For those of you who don't know, Amyotrophic Lateral Sclerosis (aka Lou Gehrig's disease) is a rapidly progressive neurological disease that affects nerve cells responsible for voluntary muscle control. There is no known cause, prevention, cure or really any effective treatment. It's definitely one of those disorders that give neurology its bad rap for being uber depressing and really not that helpful to patients.

They were hoping we could partner with them as a group or, in the very least, to bring attention and awareness to the cause. ALS is one of those interesting disorders in that it's a "rule out" disorder. There just isn't enough information about it out there to yet to have tests designed for diagnosis, so you have to rule out everything it's not before settling on it being ALS. I think some of us might end up going to the ALS Walk  later this spring (another really great  brain-y walk is the MS Walk also held in Omaha. I've gone the past two years with a wonderful family that I met through the dance team at HC and it's a blast!).

Well, I'm off to a Mavs hockey game... a girl's gatta have a little fun on the weekends, right? We're playing the Wisconsin Badgers (goooo Mavs! Sorry, I'm not sorry about it Hannah W-K!).

Hasta for now!