Today I became an orphan.

Today my home church officially voted to leave the Evangelical Lutheran Church of America (ELCA) and become a member congregation in another denomination. The details of why they left or where they moved are currently unimportant.

The abandonment I feel seems to me to be the more important matter. 

I feel like a plastic bag blowing in the wind. I no longer have a church home to claim.** My root system has been ripped out from under me (quite violently it feels, I might add). That place has seen some of my favorite moments. I was baptized there (admittedly, I don't remember this...I'm sure it was lovely though), took my first communion, was confirmed, attended youth group, was on staff there for two years, and partnered with them as the home congregation for the campus ministry program of which I was in charge. I volunteered at VBS for several years. Was involved in choir and praise team. Served on several committees. Traveled to mission trips and ski trips both domestically and abroad as a student and a sponsor. 

FSP was formative for me. They taught me to pray. They taught me to praise. It seems they are also teaching me to mourn and lament. 

I keep hearing from those that are moving with the church that they are not abandoning anyone. But that's not how I feel. I feel like an orphan. I have not felt exceptionally welcome in that building for years. I wasn't even invited to the vote today, although I am a voting member of the congregation. 

I know that I'm not the only one to feel this way either. 

Although I am truly saddened to say goodbye to a place that I called home for many years, I am happy that a definitive decision has finally been reached. It has been a very long, very trying process with many people wounded along the way. I pray that this decision is a healthy one for the congregants that are moving to the denomination. And I pray that the rest of us who are left behind find a place to plant new roots and to find peace. 

**It is true that lately I have been attending an ELCA church here in Omaha and plan to make it my church home. They are quite welcoming and truly incredible, but it is not officially my home yet. I was hoping to wait until this summer, but it seems as though I will need to become a new member sooner than planned.