I actually wrote this much earlier this summer after a perfect storm of events, but the final one was a lunch with Bishop Elizabeth Eaton and the other interns. It seemed like I had been hearing just so much about how the Church was dying because we didn't have enough young adults. And I am not really sure that's true. It didn't end up getting posted in the other locations I thought it would, so I figured I'd share it here. Certainly my denomination is not the only one experiencing dwindling membership, but I can only write about my experience in the ELCA.
Dear Church,
I’m not your token young adult. Please stop treating me as one.
It seems every other week or so there’s some news story or “recent” study coming out to say that mainline Protestant Church membership is declining. And the following week there’s another news story about the best way to get young adults into your church to save it from decline/collapse.
I’m going to be bold and just say it. I hate these articles. I never read them. And I don’t find any truth in them. The notion that young adults will swoop in and save the Church seems harmful and blatantly misleading.
You see, young adults are already in this Church. Some have committed to years of volunteer service both domestically and abroad. There are young adults doing amazing work at camp. And campus ministry. And even in your parishes doing any number of things. We are in the trenches doing justice work and on the hill doing advocacy work.
But sometimes you don’t see us. Or sometimes when you do finally see us, you hover and overcrowding turns us off to showing up in traditional worship spaces. And other times you use these gimmicks to get our butts in the pews that we see right through. Big flashy church with lights and professional singers on a stage with the newest and hippest contemporary Christian music is personally not my thing. It’s so shiny and staged. And I hate it (don’t get me wrong, I love shiny things generally…my favorite color is silver, with glitter being a close second). But I don’t want shiny Church.
I want real.
I want a safe space, rooted in tradition, re-imagined in the modern world, that allows me to question, to converse, to discern, to get it wrong before I get it right, to work, to worship, to serve, to play, to love, and to be loved. I don’t need programmatic experiences especially designed to hook Millennials. I’m not really interested in this. I am much more interested in how Church interacts with the world.
I am much more interested in the intersections of my own life, and the lives of those around me, and how those play out in the world. I am much more interested in how privilege can be used to find voice and space from those that are oppressed. I am much more interested in conversations about how being female in the world and in the Church has shaped my perception of the world. And especially how this femininity both gives me power and also relegates me to second-class citizenship, depending on the situation. I am much more interested in learning how being a child of God should affect how I interact in the world.
My favorite and most transformative moments in my faith journey have been with small groups of people conversing about faith and secular worlds colliding in the justice work they are doing. Other “mountain-top” moments for me include the time I spent in silence at a monastery in France. These experiences are not new and shiny; they are “boring” and “old.”
I’m not asking you, Church, to come up with some beautiful, new, shiny plan to get me into the building. I’m not asking for a strategic 3-year plan about increased membership and offering intake from the under-35 demographic.
I want you to be genuine. Authenticity is what I value most. Don’t try to be hip. I, and others, will see right through it. You know why? Because I’m not hip. I play bassoon and I get really amped up when I talk about neuroscience and Lutheran theology. If your congregation is really great at High-Church liturgies and welcoming people to the Table, do that. If you are really great at being a feeding or clothing ministry, do that. If you are really awesome at inviting others to share their stories during worship, do that.
I am asking you to accompany me, Church, as you have thousands of others before me, on my spiritual journey. I am asking you to accept that Church might be happening outside your four walls and that’s okay. That’s actually part of the imperative we get from Jesus (Matthew 25:35-40 among others) and the example that he set for us (I mean how many times were any of his miracles within the 4 walls of a synagogue?). I am asking you to stop considering me as your token young adult that will somehow change your ministry, evangelize and save your congregation someday.
We are already here. We may not be inside, but we are here. Some Sundays, you may not see our bums in the pews, because we are out and about, doing the work of the Church. Come see us. Come join us. But please remember to invite us back with you, too. We can both learn from each other; let’s be Church together and bridge the gap.
Sincerely,
Jenny
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