{working title}: 6 weeks

Sunday, July 21, 2013

6 weeks

HC students with me (an HC alum)!
Way to represent Broncos!

Six weeks ago, I was content with my life. I was working on research, I was eating food at my favorite restaurants (no matter how many great places I frequent, Big Dally's Deli and Back Alley Bakery will always have my heart) and I was enjoying random outings with my best friend in Hastings. I was in the recuperation stage of recovery. I was happy.

Or so I thought.

Six weeks ago, I started working as a TA for the Summer Medical and Dental Education Program (SMDEP). Six weeks ago, I started laughing so hard that my abs hurt every single day. Six weeks ago, I got to know 8 of my (former) classmates like never before. Six weeks ago, I met a group of 79 students from across the country that challenged me in ways I never imagined.

Six weeks ago, I re-discovered joy.

SMDEP TAs.
The best set of co-workers I could have ever imagined!

It's weird. I thought I was basically back to 100% before I started SMDEP. I was wrong. The students, my co-workers and even some of the professors (Captain Capow!) reminded me of the things in life that I love, namely laughter. I've now come through the personality recovery part of my journey towards health. I'm finally starting to feel like myself again. It's been well over a year since the last time I consistently felt this way.

My incredible TA group!

Now the students have all returned to their respective homes and I'm feeling nostalgic. Not for specific moments from the past 6 weeks (although I will miss the people with whom I worked and the laughs we shared), but for the Cambridge Tradition Program. CamTrad was 6 years ago (is that right...?) already, but I still love and miss the people I met there each day.

As I see my students post on Facebook about what an incredible time they had and about how much they are already missing the friends they made over the past 6 weeks, I remember bawling my eyes out for about 4 of the 8 hours of flight time back over the Atlantic. I also remember feeling like part of my heart had been ripped out and pieces of it were left in England and with each person I met. I remember the emptiness I felt upon my return to Nebraska consistently for several weeks and sporadically for months thereafter. Although I don't necessarily feel as empty as they currently do, I know what they are going through.

punting

Some of the best experiences I've had in my life were during CamTrad: HP7 book release with Henry dressed as Hagrid, the HP5 movie release, punting, eating at the Greek place with Alexia while everyone else was at internet cafe, the Trailer of Life food truck (est. 1992) in the town square, Ramesh's grad school graduation march across Cambridge, taking care of Lowell, laughing at/with my beautiful roommate Atma, long walks with my mini-me Alison, Pizza Express with the most delicious tortellini I've ever had, London, Canterbury Cathedral, photojournalism projects, brain tag for Med and the Brain, walking on the Jesus College lawn, and so many more.

Alexia and I.

CamTrad was another time I knew joy. I was perpetually laughing at Lowell, Atma, Alison, Alexia, Virginia, and even Ramesh. This past 6 weeks was a good reminder of that.

I still talk with my CamTrad friends...some more than others. But there's a solid group of us that stay in touch. Not bad for 6 years of not being together! We've reunited in the strangest of places, but there's this CamTrad time warp that makes it seem as though only days have passed since the last time we've seen/spoken to each other. I suspect that the SMDEP students will also have this experience. They are lucky that many of them may end up going to school together in coming years.

Atma and I at Pizza Express.
Don't mind my head looking like it's photoshopped on...

Although many of my classmates have decided on professions other than medicine (that was my "major" during the program), the program shaped each of us immensely into the people we've become. Regardless of if these students end up becoming doctors or dentists, this will be a time period on which they always look fondly.

This 6 weeks was good for me. This 6 weeks gave me the renewed confidence that I am really called to medicine. I cannot thank the SMDEP students and TAs for reminding me of that. I'm anticipating my share of frustration and exhaustion from studying over the coming years, but I do believe that UNMC is where I'm meant to be for now.

To my students and co-workers: thank you for the joy and laughter of the past 6 weeks. Thank you for reminding me who I am. Thank you, a thousand times, thank you.