my reality.

I've sat in front of my computer for almost an hour trying to figure out how to start this blog post. It's actually causing some bad flashbacks of writing papers for undergrad where I could never figure out how to start. I'm just struggling to find the words right now.

So here goes...

As many of you know, I've been sick off and on this year. Well actually, mostly "on." I've been more sick than I let on to most people. Until recently, I've even been more sick than I let myself realize.

Within the past 6 months, I've been diagnosed with two autoimmune disorders. I've battled several complications with each throughout the process of diagnosis and the beginning of treatment, all the while trying to go to classes and study.

I'm not going to lie, it's been really rough. Some days I feel 100% and want to conquer the world; others make me feel as though I'm sinking in quicksand and the only thing I can accomplish for the whole day is rolling out of bed and showering before I head directly back to bed for a nap.

This is my current reality. It's neither good nor bad (okay, it's definitely a little bad), but it's real. At this point, it doesn't make sense to continue fighting my body about the healing process, so I've decided to take off the remainder of the year on medical leave. Due to the timing of when I started leave, I will have to repeat the entire M1 year beginning again in August.

I can't say that this is ever how I imagined my first year of med school going, but this is the way it is. I am really fortunate to be receiving some of the best medical care in the entire state (hooray for going to school across the street from an INCREDIBLE medical institution!) and I have the most supportive friends and family who have helped me immensely over the past 8 months.

I wouldn't say that I'm necessarily excited for the opportunity to do the entire year over (who really would want to re-listen to 92 hours of biochem lectures?), but there are plenty of good things that are going to come from this less-than-optimal situation. I have met some of the most awesome people this year and had some great experiences, I get the chance to meet an entire new class of awesome people. I get the chance to learn all of the M1 material in a depth that I could have never achieved because of being sick. While I heal, I have the opportunity to do some clinical research part-time, which is seriously awesome because it's research and I will still get some patient interaction.

I'm currently in a state of both joy and mourning over this decision. It's kind of an odd place to be, but I know that, ultimately, I can't work towards healing others, if I, myself, am not well.

I got this fortune when I was home a few weeks ago. I think reading it was
actually the moment I made my decision about medical leave. 

I've Bin-hammered

One of our professors is retiring this year after 56 years of teaching. The coolest thing though, is that he's actually going to come back next year (and for as long as he is able) to teach. For free.

This is a video that UNMC made to honor him.

"Well I don't buy that..."

Less than 24 hours until sushi...!

My life revolves around exams.

It has for so many years. We have become a "teach to the test" kind of society--as a side note, I really hate the "No Child Left Behind" type of teaching style. "I have (blank) number of days until this huge exam and this is how I'm going to spend my time to prepare for it." Exams simply are no fun. 

But now, my life revolves around exams because it means that my friends and I are going to sushi! I really love the few hours we spend together on the night before the exam. It's time to decompress and not worry about school or studying. Some of my favorite moments of this past year are from those sushi dinners. 

In other news, Spring Break begins on Friday afternoon. Oh and this blog was featured on my favorite podcast, Things That Matter, in Lisa's God sighting. I haven't had much (or any) time to listen to the show this year because of school, but I do have all of the episodes downloaded on my phone and plan to listen to them on my next drive back to Hastings so I can catch up. I've actually been invited back to Things That Matter Land as a guest, so I'm thinking of starting a competition with Erin (Coleman) Branchaud to become the "Most Interesting Woman Alive." I'm currently 3 episodes behind her, so I have plenty of catch-up yet to do. 

Finally, this skit from SNL last weekend just makes me laugh. Nothing funnier than JT dancing in a tofu costume. 

Hero for the Day

If you know me at all (or if you've read any of my other blog posts), you'll know that I'm an ally. I found this video today via a Huffington Post article. I thought it was so great that I wanted to share it with all of you!

Okay seriously, she's my hero for today. I hope y'all actually dedicate the 5 minutes to actually watch this, because she has a very important message!

And she's funny too! :)

It's been a neuro kind of week!

This week in our clinical skills class we learned about the neurologic exam. I've spent my fair share of time in a neurology clinic between the many, many hours I've shadowed and working at CNN in Hastings so I actually knew most of the exam by heart already (I've had some seriously awesome examples to learn from!). It still was one of my favorite clinical skills classes so far though.

Today we had a meeting for the Student Interest Group in Neurology (SIGN). We had the "ALS in the Heartland" crew come talk with us along with Miss Heartland, Charissa Hauge, and one family that has been affect by ALS. For those of you who don't know, Amyotrophic Lateral Sclerosis (aka Lou Gehrig's disease) is a rapidly progressive neurological disease that affects nerve cells responsible for voluntary muscle control. There is no known cause, prevention, cure or really any effective treatment. It's definitely one of those disorders that give neurology its bad rap for being uber depressing and really not that helpful to patients.

They were hoping we could partner with them as a group or, in the very least, to bring attention and awareness to the cause. ALS is one of those interesting disorders in that it's a "rule out" disorder. There just isn't enough information about it out there to yet to have tests designed for diagnosis, so you have to rule out everything it's not before settling on it being ALS. I think some of us might end up going to the ALS Walk  later this spring (another really great  brain-y walk is the MS Walk also held in Omaha. I've gone the past two years with a wonderful family that I met through the dance team at HC and it's a blast!).

Well, I'm off to a Mavs hockey game... a girl's gatta have a little fun on the weekends, right? We're playing the Wisconsin Badgers (goooo Mavs! Sorry, I'm not sorry about it Hannah W-K!).

Hasta for now!