Intersection

So this post actually isn't about med school. Well not directly, at least. But it's loosely about how I intend to practice medicine. Regardless, I decided that it's my blog and I can write about whatever I want, dang it!

The altar at the Church of Reconciliation in Taizé

I have this book that I read on a nightly basis. It's a meditation book that I got when I visited Taizé. For those of you who don't know, Taizé is a monastic community in the south of the Burgundy region in France. The brothers of the community invite young people (generally ages 16-29) to join them in ecumenical prayer and monastic life. It truly is an incredible experience! Taizé style worship is characterized by long silences and repetitive, chant-like music. You can listen to one of my favorite songs here. Many of the songs are sung in varying languages based on the populations of people visiting Taizé that week (the particular song I linked to was in French, but I've also sung it in English and German). The brothers try to be inclusive with the languages used when reading Scripture, song choices and prayers so that everyone can participate in the worship experience. I could talk about Taizé for years, but that's really not what this blog post is about, so back to the story...

So this meditation book seems to always have the perfect meditations for each night. I really don't know how that is possible, but after almost 3 years of owning the book, I've stopped asking questions. The reading on Halloween really struck a chord for me:

The vast possibilities of science and technology are able to alleviate sufferings, and to mitigate famines. Indispensable though they may be, however, these powerful means by themselves are not enough. If we were to wake up one fine morning in societies that were functional, highly technological, but where the confidence of faith, the intelligence of the heart, and a thirst for reconciliation had been extinguished, what then would be the future of the human family? --Peace of Heart in All Things: Meditations for Each Day of the Year, Brother Roger

Wow. What a thing to read while you're studying medicine and have spent your whole life interested in the sciences.

But, wait. That's not completely true.

 I've also spent the better part of the past decade interested in religion, from more than just a faith-based perspective. During undergrad, I was a religion major and in a program for my Christian Ministry minor. We lovingly/creatively dubbed said program as "the program," and it had/has a much greater part in each of our lives than I think many of us want to admit. While in the program, the goal is to begin working towards discerning our call, our vocation. We talked quite a bit about how this discernment process isn't a 'one and done' kind of thing, but rather it's a continual process that we will grapple with for the remainder of our adult lives. There's some sort of peace that comes in knowing that our vocations may change over time and that we don't have to get it perfectly right when we begin the process.

Throughout my tenure at Hastings College, I discerned my call to be somewhere in the intersection between medicine and ministry. I adore medicine (admittedly this is true some days more than others) and I also love being a ministering presence to others (similarly to medicine, this is true some days more than others). I didn't know what this meant for me for much of my undergraduate experience and, truthfully, I'm not sure that I know any better now. BUT I know that it brings me great joy to be involved with both medicine and ministry. So that brings me to this meditation.

Last year when I interviewed for medical school, I was asked what one thing worried me about the future of medicine (or something to that effect, I really don't remember the exact phrasing of the question). I said that I was worried about all of the technology involved in medicine and that I worried that it took away from the actual practice of medicine. Last January, I traveled to Trinidad and Tobago where they only have one to two MRI machines for the entire country and yet their medical care is better than ours in many respects. Fast forward to this fall and now I'm learning about these technological advances and how they are changing the accuracy of medicine. Here I am as one overwhelmed student interested in the intersection between medicine and ministry.

How can I balance technology with good ole, tried and true patient interactions that are NOT technologically dependent? How can I do this while being a thorough and accurate physician? How do I avoid becoming addicted to technology personally so that I can remember what it feels like to have conversations without some sort of screen interface? Going back ideas I brought up in my healthcare reform blog post, how can I responsibly order tests without ordering unnecessary procedures/labs and spending money that my patient/the government/the hospital doesn't need to spend?

I don't know the answers to these and many more questions, but I'm okay with that. For now, I will continue to discern what it means to be at this intersection between medicine and ministry. What I do know is that I will never force my religious beliefs onto my patients, or on my friends for that matter. I do know that I will work hard to be the best doctor I can be by taking advantage of as many opportunities as I can for patient interactions and other learning experiences while I'm still in school. I do know that I will attempt to balance my personal ties as well as my professional connections with the technological world.